This weekend I went with my family to the State Fair.  Now, I'm all about fairs.  I love fair corn and people hawking their handmade stuff and staring in awe and disgust at deep-fried twinkies (no, I've never had one).  I also love going through the animal barns (except for the swine barn) and seeing all of the varieties that one doesn't normally see on the side of the road. 

At this year's fair, I got to see some corn that was more than twice my height, held a chick, and petted a calf.  We also caught the tail end of a falconry show, which just reminded me that I've always wanted to be a falconer…and have a pet owl.  Oh yeah.  I can't think of anything that I would actually want to hunt that could be brought down by a raptor, but that is an insignificant detail. 

In addition to the corn and the birds, I bought some beeswax candles (still warm from being dipped) and a little copper candle holder for the tapers (that came with a compartment for matches).  But the absolute coolest thing I brought home from the fair was a coconut with the top cut off and a monkey carved into it with the phrase "Have Fun."  Glory, glory, hallelujah!  I've always wanted a real coconut out of which I could sip cool drinks.  And this one doubles as a bank as well (with a hole slit in the top half). I really wish a had a picture of it right now.  Maybe I'll add one later.

We spent hours at the fair, and I was so ready to leave by the time it actually happened.  I really, REALLY detest being in large crowds of moving people for a long period of time because, in general, people move like schools of fish…schools of fish that have no rhyme or reason to the way they move and thus have no internal radar that real schools of fish seem to have.  They aimlessly meander, varying their speed abruptly at times, darting out in front of me, and sometimes altogether stopping directly in front of me without warning.  And that's just the adults.  Of course there are screaming children everywhere whose parents either haven't the desire or ability to control them.  Add onto that the horribly obese people who will rudely shove you out of the way and then  glare at you as if you were the one in the wrong as they rush to the aforementioned deep-fried novelty desserts stand, and I really am on the edge after a while.  Just thinking about it now makes me nervous. 

So by the end of the day, I was about to let the filter between my mouth and my brain take a rest after all of its hard work, which really would have been a disaster.  There would be no holding back, and I would comment out loud everything that popped into my head, no matter how un-p.c. it was.  This probably would have been mortifying funny for my family, but I can see that I probably would have pissed off/hurt the feelings of a lot of people, as in everyone around me.  It probably would have made for a better blog entry.  But alas, it didn't happen; I did, however, entertain myself for the remainder of the excursion with little scenarios in which it DID happen.  Heh.

*Amber readers terrified of planes might not want to read this next part*
As an aside and since I'm so horrible at transitions, a few weeks ago I heard Alice Cooper on the radio talking about what song different people would listen to if they were in a plane crashing to the ground, if the plane could be magically suspended in air or you would be guaranteed not to hit the ground before the song was over.  Without really thinking about it, I chose "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd.  And actually now that I think about it, that's perfectly brilliant for me.

What about you?  If you were in a plane that was crashing(plunging to your death, natch) but could listen to one song as you fell through the air, what would it be?

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