Does anyone else find this question rude, intrusive, and simply no one else’s business?  Through a friend’s profile on Facebook, I found a group with this as the title of a thread.  Posts were mostly witty responses to the question.  And, as it is still wedding season, I give you the list of my favorite responses to use as you wish.  Most of them can be altered for either sex.  Enjoy!

1) When my boyfriend gets out of prison.

2) After my first million.

3) Once the operation and transformation is complete.

4) As soon as the foreign spouse import I ordered arrives.

5) When Brad gets tired of Angelina and impregnates me accidentally, or when Johnny
Depp decides to settle down, see I’m not picky, I’ll take either one.

6) When Jesus comes back…

7) He turns 18 next Fall… we’ve been waiting for this day
so long!

8) When the Pope gets married.

9) Before the baby’s born… for sure.

10) I don’t know, when are you getting divorced?

11) When I lower my standards.

12) Whenever you feel like buying us a house and paying for
a wedding.

13) The plan is to wait until the relationship starts to
fall apart, then we’ll get married as a last ditch attempt to save it. We’ll be
divorced within the year, but at least we’ll have presents to console us.

14) When it’s finally legal.

15) When I find someone who can afford me.

16) When they finally find a way to fix this damn rash…(always
say this one while lifting your skirt slightly)

17) I prefer to live in sin.

18) Why on earth would I want a man? I’m smarter than most
of them, I make more money than half the guys my age, my cat loves me, and my
brother’s only an hour away if I have to move heavy stuff.

19) When he finally realizes he’s not actually gay.

20) When he can have babies.

21) The 30th of February

22) When her father decides to barter the safety of his
kingdom with his daughter’s virginity.  (Yeah,
really only usable for men, but it’s a brilliant one!)

23) Next time I’m in Vegas…To whom?… Oh I’ll figure that
out when I get there.

24) As soon as I teach him to speak English…

25) When the divorce is final.

26) As soon as they let him off house arrest. A wedding
might be tough to hold in his mom’s doublewide.

27) When I finally find someone who deserves how happy I
will make him.

28) As soon as he gets clean: who knew heroin’s so hard to

29) I’ve been married for two months… why weren’t you

30) When the Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

31) It’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little

32) No, I think we’re going to go with the abortion… at
least this time.

33) When they quit making whiskey and batteries!

34) When my pimp from the city gives me some time off.

35) You’re getting closer to the age where people have
funerals…when’s your turn?

36) Well, I’m hoping that i can track him down sometime within
the next six months or so (with a hand on stomach).


38) Only when I’m actually in love with someone and actually
want to, instead of getting married at a young age based on a superficial idea
of love…you know, like you did.

39) Once the vow of celibacy is removed…

40) Married? But surely you realize that having someone else
around would only water-down my awesomeness!

41) When sex isn’t fun anymore.

42) When EVERYONE can get married!