Fav Quotes…About Sex

I love quotes.  I have books of quotes and I have lists and lists of them in documents on my computer.  So I think I'm gonna start sharing them with others, with themes to the quotes.  Please note, however, that I don't have sources for most of these, so don't expect me to be the good librarian in citing their origins.  The theme, most obviously, for this collection of quotes is sex.  I may comment on a few.  Enjoy!

Anybody
who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his

stomach
flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne, quoted
in 1,911 Best Things

Anybody
Ever Said, 1988

 

Don't
knock masturbation – it's sex with someone I love.  ~Woody Allen

 

A
dirty book is rarely dusty.  ~Author
Unknown

 

Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.

~Marlene
Dietrich

 

Life
in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: 
One is that God loves

you
and you're going to burn in hell.  The
other is that sex is the

most
awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone

you
love.  ~Butch Hancock

 

To
hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the

torso,
head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.

~Don
Schrader

 

What
is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a

voracious
appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human

flesh.  ~Henry Fielding

 

Love
is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex

raises
some pretty good questions.  ~Woody Allen

 

Life
without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull.  It

is
the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are

once
in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are

at
all.  Throttle it, denaturalize it, take
it away, and human

existence
would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome,

imbecile
level of life in an anthill.  ~Henry
Louis Mencken (Amen, brother!)

 

Sex
without love is merely healthy exercise. 
~Robert Heinlein

 

Sex
relieves tension – love causes it. 
~Woody Allen

 

I
think I could fall madly in bed with you. 
~Author Unknown

 

Love's
mysteries in souls do grow,

But
yet the body is his book.

~John
Donne, Extasy

 

I
thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.  ~John

Waters (I really love this quote.  Wasn't raised Catholic (though I am now), but was raised in the Church of God, which is equally as chaste.)

 

For
women the best aphrodisiacs are words. 
The G-spot is in the ears.

He
who looks for it below there is wasting his time.  ~Isabel Allende

 

An
intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more

interesting
than sex.  ~Aldous Huxley

 

It
is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.  ~Marge Piercy (so true)

 

Conservatives
say teaching sex education in the public schools will

promote
promiscuity.  With our education
system?  If we promote

promiscuity
the same way we promote math or science, they've got

nothing
to worry about.  ~Beverly Mickins

 

The
tragedy is when you've got sex in the head instead of down where

it
belongs.  ~D.H. Lawrence

 

Instruction
in sex is as important as instruction in food; yet not

only
are our adolescents not taught the physiology of sex, but never

warned
that the strongest sexual attraction may exist between persons

so
incompatible in tastes and capacities that they could not endure

living
together for a week much less a lifetime. 
~George Bernard

Shaw,
Everybody's Political What's What, 1944

 

What
they love to yield they would often rather have stolen.  Rough

seduction
delights them, the boldness of near rape is a compliment.

~Ovid,
The Art of Love

 

When
a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky.  A

woman
already knows.  ~Frederike Ryder

 

Tell
him I've been too fucking busy – or vice versa. 
~Dorothy Parker

 

A
student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm

put
him in mind of sex.  He replied
frankly:  "Because everything

does."  ~Honor Tracy

 

When
authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an

important
lesson to be learned.  Do not have sex
with the authorities.

~Matt
Groening

 

There
are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual

arousal,
particularly in women.  Chief among these
is the

Mercedes-Benz
380SL convertible.  ~P.J. O'Rourke

 

Our
love could change the orbit of the earth. 
So, if a meteor ever

comes
hurtling towards earth with the guarantee of destruction, top

scientists
may call on us to, well, you know, do it like crazy for the

sake
of humankind.  ~Author Unknown  (I'm fairly certain I've said something like this after the deed at one point in time.  But I remember it being something more like that it was so good, we could probably make it rain in drought-ridden areas of the globe.)